On Friendship

I was fortunate, this week, to watch my mama among her friends. For an evening, they chatted and laughed, linked hands, and held space for each other. They reassured me, verbally and through their lively conversation, that there is still fun to be had beyond a certain age. Witnessing this beautiful group come together has made me reflect on the value of friendships and how lucky I am to count some of these very women among mine.

Serenity

From accumulated stresses to loss to the simple busyness of tackling our to-do list, we all experience some form of anti-serenity. One key aspect of, I hope, all our lives that has been shown time and again to be essential for a serene existence is friendship. If you are lucky enough to have what Michelle Obama calls her 'kitchen table'—a group of friends you can rely on, who will sit with you and hold everything from your place in line to the space you need to grieve a loss to your cup of tea while you search for your glasses—then you already know how effective they are at bringing serenity back into your day. We sometimes feel like we have to go through things alone, that it’ll really be fine and we can do it on our own and we don't want to 'bother' anyone. But even if that were all true (and I don't really think it is), why go through all of that suffering when a simple afternoon cup of tea with a friend can bring such beautiful joy into our lives and help to relieve our suffering?
So, next time you’re struggling to find an answer, reach out to a friend. Let them offer you encouragement and connection. If you're lucky, they'll even make you a cup of tea. Either way, I suspect you'll come out on the other side a little more serene.

Perseverance

At the World Tea Expo this past March, I was fortunate enough to meet a lovely lady named Cecelia Curtis. A fellow tea lover, we chatted about all things tea, as one does, and made the inevitable introductions of what we do and what our latest creations are. I told her about Island Elixir Tea Company, and she told me about her new venture: The Friendship Tour podcast. Each episode is dedicated to chatting with a friend that has made a positive impact on her life. It's a beautiful premise and the execution of the podcast gets better and better. This week, on my way back from my mother's dinner party, I found my new favourite episode (Episode 14, The Nosy Friend and Other Matters of Friendship). It's a beautiful conversation between two friends talking about the value of hearing someone's voice, being nosy, and the overall importance of friendships. Enjoy!

Well-being

The Harvard Study of Adult Development is one of the longest running studies on human development. It has followed people over a whopping 80 years! If you needed some data to let you know that friendships are a key aspect of long-term well-being. This study has it in spades. Although limited to men (it did start in 1938) the study has several key findings regarding friendship, including that the long-term well-being of the participants, including their physical and brain health, was better with friendships. One of the key themes in the study is that it’s the quality of our relationships over the total number that has the greatest effect. The moral of the story, in my most humble opinion, is to grab a really good friend, and a really good cup of tea and enjoy a long life in full well-being.

One more thing...

"Pooh felt that he ought to say something helpful about it, but didn't quite know what. So he decided to do something helpful instead.
"Eeyore," he said solemnly, "I, Winnie-the-Pooh, will find your tail for you."
"Thank you, Pooh," answered Eeyore. "You're a real friend," said he."
- A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Until next time,
Steep Calm.
Bree